38 yer olds are good kisserssss
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
