But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I just cut my nipple shaving
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
