Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
