i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Randomize
