So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
