Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
