Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
