Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
