New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
