Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize