I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Randomize
