He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
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