It's a beautiful day for a hangover
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
