R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
zippers are such a cool invention
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Randomize
