I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Reggie can tackle my bush.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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