Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Randomize
