i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
