That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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