carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Randomize