Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
