I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
We don't watch enough power rangers
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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