i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
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