he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
