It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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