Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
