We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
