This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
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