I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Are we still banned from the library?
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize
