i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
