Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
