We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize