I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
