I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
