it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
