This girl is more easily done than said...
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
