This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
