Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
