season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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