I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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