On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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