names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
