i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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