Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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