I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
