i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
