We won't sleep together?
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
