In the future we'll all be gay
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
