he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
