We're like a lot better than the average bears
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
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