Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize
