You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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