im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Randomize
