Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
wakey wakey hands off snakey
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
