omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize