I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
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