yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize