My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I just had sex on a roof
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
