someone get that fucking seahorse.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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