Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Randomize
