Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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