Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
