Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
