wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
How does one acquire holy water?
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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