She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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