hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
