My brain says no but my pants say off.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
