I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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