I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
